I have learned a lot from my kids over the years, and I know the things I am doing wrong as a Mom. Of course I know the hardest part is that I can't change over night. I know I am doing better, but I still am a little impatient and am too quick to get angry.
Well last night I got another lesson. Taught by Kylee. I have been a little "mean" lately. I sent them up to bed last night, reminding them to hurry and turn out the light, No Playing, and I'd be up in a minute to check on them. Well, when I came up, the light was still on and Summer was sitting on the desk. Of course I don't stop and think, I just get frustrated.
I'm like, Summer get your but in bed, I said to hurry up and no playing. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Kylee tries to explain to me that Summer was sitting there to easily turn off the light, and she was waiting for Kylee to find her clock. Of course I just say, be quiet and lay down. I turn out the light and shut the door and walk down the hall when I hear Kylee say "I hate you!"
Oh my gosh! Did my own child just say she hates me? I got instant tears. I wasn't mad that she said something so mean, I was just sad that I made her think that. After standing there for a second, I decided to go talk to her. I quietly opened the door and she sat up to look at me and I told her that I heard what she said. She was embarrassed for a second, then she burst into tears. I told her I felt so sad when I heard her say that. She said "Sometimes your just so mean!" I told her I was sorry and asked her to help me not be so mean anymore. I told her that I love her. Her tears told me she loves me.
I know I will never forget the lesson I learned last night. I am always thinking about the relationship I want to have with my children, especially when they are teenagers and I have to stop being "so mean" if I want them to want to talk to me about things.
So I still know that I can't change over night, but there is more I can do to help. Pray more, etc. I will do whatever I can for my kids! I love them too much, and I know Heavenly Father does.
3 comments:
I don't know if I'm just ultra senstive or what. But that post brought tears to my eyes. I know at some points in my life I have said that about my mom, and I know my kids eventually will do the same to me. I want to have a good relationship with my kids too. I guess its a reality we all have to deal with. You're right though, we need to just keep trying. I guess we're lucky to have little ones to remind us what is really important. Oh, thanks for the advice. I truly appreciate it.
Being a mom is so hard sometimes. It's good to know that we are not alone, both that Heavenly Father is there for us and that other women are going through some of the same things.
I totally know how you feel! I have a very big temper at times (just ask Todd he'll tell you). And Tanner really knows how to get me started lately, he NEVER obeys! I am consistently having to yell at him, and then right after I fell bad and say sorry, but then he is braty again! =( I love my boys but disciplining is so hard!!
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